Diary of an Amateur Comedian: My First Time

Ah, I remember my first time like it was a year ago.  Ripe with anticipation, belly full of flutterbys, expecting that I was going to provide satisfaction beyond anything experienced before, yet the fear that I would just bomb up there.  On stage.  I’m talking about stand-up comedy, you PREvert.

The hardest part of becoming a stand-up comedian is thinking about doing it for the first time, and mustering up enough courage to just get up on a stage to do it.  That’s it.  That’s the big secret.  Once you’ve had your stand-up cherry popped, much like sexual intercoursing, you’ll think “that wasn’t so bad.  I could really get into this.”  What?  You didn’t say that after losing your virginity?  Just me?  Moving along then.

The point being, don’t think about it so much.  Just get your name on a list, then you have to get up there and then you’ll be glad you did.  Even if you crap the sack, you’ll be better for it.  Audiences are relatively understanding, other comedians are supportive because they have all been there, and your mom will still love you.  Unless of course you are swearing excessively to express your hatred for “midgets”.  No one appreciates that.  (I witnessed it).

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