EXTRA! EXTRA! New Show Coming Soon!

Procrastinating + Busy-ness = Late Post!

The rumours are true! I’m writing a brand new one-lady show called A Book By Its Cover that I’ll be premiering it next Thursday, April 17 until Saturday, April 19 at the Havana Theatre in Vancouver.

The show is in sketch format, exploring the idea of first impressions and how no one is ever what they seem.  I might spit some mean rhymes (rap), I might dance interpretively, I might even CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Plus, it’s a DOUBLE BILL show with my sketch comedy group The Sweater Zeppelins, called A Night of Mandatory Laughter.  We’ll be doing a 40 minute set after my solo show!  Lucky you!  And lucky me 🙂  This is probably our funniest show to date.  We have a new face, Dan Willows, who will be joining Ellie heath, Nikolai Witschl and I on stage.  And the comedically brilliant and visually gorgeous Brynn Peebles also contributed some of her funny ideas to the show.

So come on down to this (I’m assuming) HISTORIC event April 17 – 19 at the Havana Theatre on Commercial Drive.  Tickets are $15 and can be reserved at eventbrite.com to guarantee seats.

Look at our poster!  Guess who drew these silly pictures?

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Evil Dead or Deadly Dumb? Why I Can’t Handle Horror

Last night I made the terrible mistake of watching the movie Evil Dead (the new one).  It wasn’t a bad movie–it was HORRIBLE.  Because horror movies are not at all my cup o’ tea.  However, this was exactly what you would want and expect in an Evil Dead  movie, so yey for that.  But people chopping off limbs and faces, AND (spoiler alert) releasing the devil–AGAIN.  Will they never learn?!  So to maintain my sanity and reassure myself that it’s all just pretend (HAHAHA *awkward laugh*), I have complied a list of things to avoid unless you and four of your pals want to find yourselves in the same situation.

1.  Cabin in the Woods

Say that again?  You’re going off to an old, dilapidated cabin in the middle of Fog Forest, Nowhere, that lacks cell reception, no one has visited in years, and is only accessible by a single dirt road that becomes a raging river when it rains?  Oh, sure, go right ahead and get MURDERED.  Idiots.

2.  Invite a Dickhead

Every horror story has that one guy (or girl, but usually a guy — jerks) that has some beef with one or more of the other characters.  He’ll be the one to go against the grain of everyone else because he’s got some stuuuuupid bone to pick with the hero.  Then he’ll be the one who just HAS to open up some barbed wire-wrapped Satanic curse book and proceed to read ALOUD the various hell-releasing words on its pages.  Dickhead!  Do yourself a favour and leave this guy at home.  The woods are scary enough without some ironically-dressed grumpy bear who just sits in his room all day reading the Devil Pages.  And as if he’ll be the one to survive the whole thing and clean up the bloody mess he’s made.  NOPE!  He’ll die.  Second to last.  How convenient.

3.  Stay in Touch With Sensitive SIde

What’s that?  The only way to end this unimaginable string of violence is to kill the first possessed friend in a very specific way?  But–but– they’re your best friend/family/lover, how can you do that to them?  How could you dismember or burn to death or bury alive someone so dear to you?  So they made the sky rain blood.  So their eyes turned yellow and their voice became demonic and their mouth turned black.  So what!?  You grew up with this person and they’re still human!  Right………?  Grab a brain, you too-beautiful-to-die MORON.  Think about someone other than your pretty little self for once.  You can cry about it later while you write in your journal.  But right now you have to stop Satan, remember?

4.  Pretend You Know Everything

– Is your friend quitting meth/coke/crack cold-turkey?  Head to the woods.  There’s no way you might, on the off chance, possibly need to seek advice from a medical professional in case of some unforeseen emergency.
– Did your friend get stabbed in the chest?  Just pull that blade out.  Don’t worry about the blood loss, patch it up with some toilet paper and duct tape.  Ta-da!
– Girlfriend just chop her ARM off?!  Not to worry, you have MORE DUCT TAPE!  Gently wrap that around her stump, the bleeding will stop once it scabs over (?!?!).  And no need to consider that she may now be mentally INSANE since she just sawed her OWN ARM OFF — it’s probably just PMS.  Ugh, women!

You’re the hero, you know what’s going on and how to fix it all.

So get out there and enjoy the outdoors this summer, but don’t be a stupid-head.  We can all learn from horror movie history (including THREE versions Evil Dead) instead of continuing the tradition of dying in the woods.  Not that anything remotely similar to this would EVER happen in real life.  HAHAHAHA! (*awkward laugh*) …..Thank God for daylight.

3 Reasons Why Taking a Break is Good for Your ART

Having a passion to be passionate about fills my heart with such passion.  But there are those times when being fully immersed in said passion can wear you down and start affecting your work.  Passionately.  Especially when, as humans, we live for so much more than just one thing.

Allow yourself the opportunity to take a brief break from doing what you love.  I myself had no stand up shows in the last two weeks, which was crappy, but then I had a really great set at Yuk Yuk’s on Wednesday .  I’m not talking about taking a nine-month hiatus because you have better things to do in the warmer months of the year, just embrace a break when one comes along instead of cursing it.  It’ll make you a better passionateer.

1) Time to Reflect

For me, not having to go on a stage for two weeks to retell the same handful of jokes that I’ve been working on was a blessing.  I came back with a fresh approach and appreciation for my material which had me more excited and the audience enjoyed it more.  And while you may not being doing shows, you can still be writing new material, exploring older stuff, or trying to come at your material from a different prospective, all of which will make you a more exciting and engaging performer when you hit the stage again!

2) A Chance to Heal

Even the most confident person can have their feelings hurt like a little girl in the schoolyard.  Even comedians are humans that have feeeeelings.  And there are times when you have show after show that just doesn’t go the way you’d hope, and that can really get to a person.  Comedians have the tendency to become jaded and fall into a downward spiral of negativity when they’re in this type of situation.  But the thing is, this happens to everyone.

Taking a brief intermission from doing shows five nights a week can give you a much-needed chance to focus on the many other aspects of your life for a moment and allow you to regain your confidence and come back at full strength.  On Wednesday night, I had no preconceived notion of how the show would go, I got up there and delivered joke after BRILLIANT joke with the confidence of a thousand nonchalant house cats because I felt fresh again.  Meow, bitches.

3) Take a Load Off

Constantly being “on” is tiring and stressful.  Taking a break means that you can be more casual about your brainstorming and writing.  It’s like anything, if it’s forced, it’s harder and less sincere.  Working with less pressure gives your brain the freedom to find the funny in anything, instead of searching for it in everything. 

When you find yourself under those stage lights again, you’ll find your jokes more fun to perform and easier to play around with because you’ll be free of all the stress and anxiety that tends accumulate. 

Taking a break: It’s a day spa for your wits.

5 Ways Stand Up Comedy Is Like a Zombie Apocalypse

Maybe it’s the excessive amount of TheWalking Dead that I’ve been exposed to lately, or maybe it’s the recent mentoring that I’ve received from comedy Guild Master Kyle Bottom and friends, but I’ve come to realize that doing stand up comedy is a lot like living through a zombie apocalypse.

1) Survival of the Fittest

Competition is essential during a zombie apocalypse, and it’s equally as important in a stand up setting.  Bold statement?  Perhaps.

Everyone wants to be the best writer/leader, get the most laughs/kills, be the most recognized ont the street/famous on the battlefield, and those that are no good often drop off the radar pretty quick.  Competition is good because it forces us to be better and, let’s face it, the weak are just not worth having around (they make good bait though).  So keep your skills sharp, your wits sharper, and your weapons sharpest. 

2) Getting By With a Little Help From Your Friends

During an outbreak of a mystery virus that is causing people to turn into monsters that eat flesh, it’s important to stick together and work as a team.  Although everyone is competing to survive, helping each other survive will contribute to a successful survival process even more.

Just like in the comedy world where people are competing for stage time, gauging their progress against others, and being jealous, people have to remember to stick together and build relationships as well as jokes.  You need a support system when you’re performing/slaying zombs.  People with whom you have things in common.  With comedy especially (I’ve never lived through a zombie end-of-days, so I can’t speak from experience), the whole stand up world can seem so abstract and ethereal, so talking with other people in your situation can make things feel more real and concrete, your goals more realistic and attainable. So buddy up!

3) Equal Rights, Right?

“In the criminal justice system there are two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders”.  Similarly, society and comedy both need the variance of two groups, men and women, to maintain order. 

Each provide their own unique and valuable outlook, opinion, and thought process, and contribute equally to creating a diverse and balanced survival environment.  Men hunt, women bear kids.  Men make dick jokes, women make jokes about dick jokes.  Balance. 

4) Getting Eaten Alive

Depending on your situation in relation to this post, you may either be in danger of being eaten alive by a very tough audience OR of actually being eaten alive.  By the undead.  There is always an element of danger, no matter how prepared you are or safe you feel.

People always comment on stand up comedians being so brave for being able to get up on stage in front of an audience of strangers.  And I’m sure they’d say that of apocalypse survivors too….if they were still alive to say it.  But they’re probably too busy trying to eat the survivors.  Sometimes when you are most confident, danger is most imminent.  Not to say that confidence is bad, it’s very important.  Equally as important as maintaining a humble heart.

5) Carrying a Weapon

Everyone knows that it’s important to have some sort of weapon on you at all times during a zombie apocalypse.  Preferably something powerful and not too noisy.  Likewise, comedians always need to have a couple of quick quips in their back pockets to shoot back at a heckler, or to pick up the energy in a dying set.  Either way, a few back-pocketers in the ol’ repertoire are always handy.  This way, no matter what, you’ll always be SLAYING!

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Remember, we all have to be able to laugh through life’s hardest moments, whether your baby’s arm just got gnawed off by a zombie, or you just bombed in a room full of talent scouts.  It’s all good, just keep at it.  Prepare by honing your skills in either stand up or combat and you’ll be successful at BOTH!  Survive and thrive!

4 Ways Stand Up Comedy Makes You a Better Writer

Writing is writing is writing, and no matter what kind you do, the goal is always the same. You want to get your point across as effectively, clearly, and concisely as possible. Unless of course your name is Herman Melville–geez, that guy!  I’ve tried to read Moby Dick like three times, and only ever get 12 pages in. Herman, read this post!

While my “professional” writing experience has been limited to stand up and sketch comedy and a couple of plays, the same rules apply. What I have learned from all this funny business is useful information for writing of all kinds.

1. Be Concise

The point of all writing is to get your point across in as few words as possible to make the most impact. Comedy is all about this. I’ve written before on the importance of being concise because, especially with stand up, no one wants to hear the five minutes of long-winded background to a joke – they want to hear the punch-lines. And if you want your readers to stay with you on your writing quests, you have to give them what they came for. Treasure!!

Cut out redundencies, choose words carefully, and create the best structure to accomplish max impact. BOOM!

2. Know Your Audience

While it may be a mutual dream for us all to write for our target audience (people with our same brains and funny bones), this is rarely the case. And we all want to spread our field of influence to gain a greater audience, right?  Right. Sometimes this means adjusting your voice to suit the type of audience that you are writing for in a particular case. I’m not going to go do a gig at a high school and tell all the dirtiest, cussiest jokes I know (I don’t actually have any…) because that would be considered “inappropriate”. Apparently. Depending on the assignment, you should adjust your tone, word use, structure, or length to accommodate a certain demographic.

3. People Pleasers

As with all art, writing is subjective and it’s impossible to please everyone with every single thing you write. There will always be some stupid dumb know-nothing idiot who doesn’t like your work or your opinion or your punctuation use, and they can all go straight to HECK!?!?!! But it is important to appeal to the audience with your writing and give people a reason to read/listen to your work.

People may offer you criticism, and you can take it or leave it, but rejection is and always will be part of the writing game. I wrote a post just last week about how accepting feedback helps you grow as a writer. Do what you love to the best of your abilities.  Keep your fans/followers/readers happy as long as it keeps you happy, and your audience will continue to grow.

4. Practise Makes Perfect

Most normal people have to really work hard to become great at the thing they are passionate about.  There are weird freaks who are naturally skilled at EVERYTHING (dicks), but they’re exceptions to the rule. Big, stupid exceptions. But as with comedic pursuits, writing is not something that people are just going to automatically start paying you for because you’re so wonderful. You have to pay your dues, do a LOT of free work, and practise perfecting your craft. But if you’re doing what you love, then doing it should be enjoyable, so no sweat!

Feeling Uninspired? 6 Ways to Pull Yourself Out of A Slump



(I chose this video because it really embodies the soul-wrenching lyrics of the song through excellent cinematography.)

Guys, girls, it’s time for me to drop an H-bomb on y’all.  HONESTY.  Sometimes I feel uninspired and overwhelmed by the world.  Sometimes there are personal issues involved.  So, what is one “funny person” supposed to do when they feel unfunny?  Here are a few tips, all of which I will do today.

1) Watch YouTube videos or read books of people who inspire you. 

Watching clips of the greats in your field remind you of the possibilities and get your creative juices flowing…in your brain. (Perv.) Some of mine are Carol Burnett, Ken Jeong in Community, Tina Fey’s book ‘Bossypants’ is great, or just watch THIS!

2) Go for a damn walk. 

Not to be confused with a dam walk, but that would be nice too.  Escaping  the confines of my 500 sq.ft. apartment and seeing the sky allows me to think better and clearer, and reminds me that the world is full of possibilities.  Probably just getting some fresh air is good for the ol’ Thinking Cap.

3) Talk to your peers. 

Chances are the people in your field have felt this way before too.  Probably on more than one occassion.  Unless they are already on happy pills.  Dick hats.  Last night I took in some stand up comedy and had the pleasure of chatting with the lovely Lauren McGibbon of stand up and improv fame.  She sprinkled these words of wisdom on me: “Dream big and remember, even if you’re funny, you have a vagina so nobody cares”.  It’s inspiring in it’s own way, trust me. 

Talking with your peers will help you to see that everyone gets into a funk once in a while and that they get out of it and persevere.  How did they got past all the negative occurrences to get to the point they are at now, THAT’S what is inspirational.

4) Make changes to your personal life.

If there are aspects of your personal life that are bringing you down, get rid of ’em.  The last thing anyone needs in their life are more downers–the world is cruel enough.  Get a new job, ditch your crazy girlfriend, reconnect with your mom.  And stop letting negative energy from other people in your field get to you.  People talk shit all the time, and usually it’s because they’re feeling insecure.  You are you, and you’re good at what you do, so keep doing it FOR you.  Whatever it is that’s causing a negative impact on your life, change it.  It’s up to you and only you.  Plus, you love your mother and she loves you, so give her a call and tell her you love her (…as long as she doesn’t bring up going back to school again).

5) Research your field and set some goals.

The pros get to where they are by putting themselves out there and taking risks.  Do some research on what you can do to get your name out there and/or get some experience.  Actor? Look up auditions for independant projects (film/TV).  Stand up?  Look into stand up comedy festivals and see what you need to do to apply.  Look for out-of-town gigs.  Take some courses to work on or expand your skills.  Read some books.  Build yourself a website and get some business cards made to advertise yourself.  Make yourself a good demo so that you have something to show people.  Do little things that will further your career and the next thing you know, all the little steps will have resulted in a big LEAP! 

6) Work hard and practise.

This is the most obvious yet, for me, the most underrated.  People aren’t magically discovered in mall food courts.  You have to practise your craft and hone your skills.  I could whine all day about how I don’t want to write or that I’m not feeling insipred, but then as soon as I sit down and focus, I remember that I actually LOVE to write and tell jokes.  Amazing how that works!  Do it for the love not for the money and fame.  (You’ll be disappointed)

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Whatever you do to bring you happiness, make sure that it is in fact making you happy.  Nothing happens overnight, but damn, I sure wish it did.  APPARENTLY life is about the journey, not the destination.   So get out there and make Mama proud!

Small Town vs. Big City: Interview with Tyler Morrison

“I’m moving to the big city to follow my dreams!”  This is what a lot of people do because the big cities are where all the action tends to be.  But what if you live in a small town and you have dreams?  How do you go about pursuing them and do you necessarily have to pick up and move to do it?

Tyler Morrison is a major up-and-comer in the comedy scene and he lives in Bracebridge, Ontario – an hour and a half north of Toronto.  He has lived in Toronto on a few occassions, but always seems to end up in the just-north-of-Toronto region.  But his location never seems to keep him from ruling the stand up scene like a big city heavyweight.  He tours around Ontario, Quebec and beyond, and organizes the annual Cottage Country Comedy Festival in Muskoka which has grown in success every year since its inception in 2008.  I asked Tyler some questions about being a small town comedian and here’s what he had to say.

How did you get started in comedy?

When I was in eighth grade a teacher told me I should think about writing for the Tonight Show and it just clicked that I wanted to get into comedy at an early age.  I heard about the Humber College Comedy Program I thought it would be perfect for me.

Would you consider moving to Toronto to pursue your career?

I started my career in Toronto, so being in a small town has never really been a problem for me.  I initially moved back to Bracebridge after college when I did the Boston Comedy Festival and got some American representation.  [They] wanted to bring me down to tour and do a TV show (which never ended up materializing).  When it didn’t pan out, I kind of used being out of the city as a recharge/writing holiday before I moved back to Toronto.

I don’t think I would [move back to Toronto] unless the right job came along where I had to be there every day. We just bought a house here, and now with the comedy festival Muskoka is my home base.  I’m pretty mobile from Bracebridge and Toronto is a quick in and out when necessary.

What challenges does living in a small town pose for a comedian?

The biggest challenge is the whole “out of sight out of mind” thing.  If you aren’t out there in the city rocking it you won’t get as many shows or industry attention.  But at the end of the day you have to get your own gigs and that can be done from anywhere.  And most paid gigs are outside of Toronto.  The internet has really helped change things in terms of visibility, but before Facebook and YouTube it was hard.  Creating the Cottage Country Comedy Festival has helped overcome those challenges in a big way.

I have lived in Toronto a few different times and always made sure to ram it with as much stage time as possible.  The best way to overcome the lack of stage time [in a small town] is by writing a ton and really fine tuning it so when you do get on stage you know the material is solid.  In the city you have more chances to experiment, but being in a small town you want to make every set count.

What freedoms does living in a smaller town offer?

[It] gives you the opportunity to not get run down by the wear and tear of being in bars every night.  There’s a lot of temptation to drink all the time when you are doing open mics and getting paid in beer (truth!).   When you do go to the city for a show, people are viewing you with a fresh set of eyes [because] they haven’t seen you doing the same act every night [which can] work to your advantage in terms of standing out.

How often do you hit the road for comedy tours?

In the summer months I am pretty busy with the festival but I do my best to travel and get out to different towns. [In the winter] I did a small Ontario tour, and this year is going to be my busiest year for touring of my career.  I just got back from doing a couple shows in Montreal and I’m looking at going out west to do a bunch of shows.  (Come to Vancouver!  I have a futon)

What’s the deal with this Cottage Country Comedy Festival that I have heard so much about?

The Cottage Country Comedy Festival started up in 2008.  There was a bunch of good young comedians that I started with and not a lot of opportunity, at the time, for anyone to move forward.  So I decided to start a festival to help get these guys on some bigger stages because they were ready for it.  The first year of the fest we were fortunate that some awesome comics like Jon Dore (say what!?) came up and helped spread the word in Toronto. With the help of my family, some good friends, and support of our amazing sponsors, it just evolved organically from there.

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There you have it!  With the help of technology and by staying an active member of the scene, it is possible to pursue your dreams without pursuing a move. 

Catch Tyler Morrison in Toronto on October 31, November 5, 6, and 7 as part of The Dark Comedy Festival.  For more information on Tyler and the Cottage Country Comedy Festival, you can check out the festival website and follow him on Twitter.