Tag Archives: confidence

What Dreams Are Made Of: Conquering My Demons

Posted in My Thoughts by

A few weeks ago, somewhere between Christmas and doubting myself, I had an amazing dream.

I have a history of dreams involving shadowy demons that try to grab at me from under my bed.  I haven’t had one for a while since I’M A GROWN UP NOW, but then this one popped up.

In my dream, a dark, gnarly, clawed hand was coming up the side of my bed.  Immediately I get a tinge of terror in my heart.  But then I remember it’s only real if I let it be real.  Also, my childhood teddy bear, Cocoanut, was in my bed with me.  She has superpowers.

demon hand!

I kept swatting the hand off my bed, but it persisted and its persistence made me angrier and angrier.  Then the full body of this shadowy demon, not unlike the one in Insidious (ahh!).  I fought and fought, punching and using Cocoanut to scare it, using every ounce of by strength to defeat it.

shadowy demon

Just when I thought I had succeeded and could go back to sleep, it came up beside my bed again.  Beyond furious, I got up on my knees, pushed it down onto the ground, jumped on top of it and started punching the HECK out of it.  THEN, I ripped off its arm, beat it to death with its own arm, and thrust the bony end of the arm through the demon’s chest.

Arm rip!

I got back up on my bed, threw my arms in the air and cried: “I’M VANESSA LEVER AND I’M AWESOME!!”  All in flannel penguin-print jammies too.

Victory!

Best. Dream. Ever.  I guess my subconscious is telling me that I should be more confident, there’s nothing to fear except fear itself!  All in all, a good start to a new year.  🙂

Something To Tell You In Confidence

Posted in Diary of an Amateur Comedian by

As I mentioned in the previous post, “Thou Shallt Not Quit”, the key to getting through a tough perfomance is confidence.  I have chosen to write about this topic again in more detail because I’m hoping that the more I THINK about it, the more confidence I’ll gain myself.

The ol’ boyfriend and I recently had a discussion about how I could take my abilities to the next level, and the biggest thing for me is my confidence.  We established that I’m very comfortable on stage, but not necessarily confident.  Especially when I am working through relatively new material that I’m not 100% sure is even funny. 

It’s tough to deliver that material confidently when you’re not even confident in it yourself.  “WHAT DO I DO THEN?!”, you ask.  “Pretend?”  Yes!  Sure the material may be new, but no one else knows that and the idea is a JOKE so there will always be someone who will appreciate at least the premise.  If you deliver your ideas with conviction and sell them like you believe in them, you may be surprised at how many people will buy into what you’re selling.  The results are a huge growth potential to take things to the professional level.  So be fearless!  Like a menstruating woman doing yoga in white spandex!

And the MOST important thing to have confidence in: YOURSELF.  Be confident with who you are as a person, what you do, and in your talent.  I struggle with this because I’m not a “look-at-me-I’m-so-great” kind of person.  But it’s time to get over that and get used to the fact that yes, I AM funny and I have funny things to tell you!  Say it with me now!  I AM a comedian!  Can I get a witness!? ALLELUIA!

Not everyone wants to or is able to get up on stage.  And some just shouldn’t.  So when you meet new people, introduce yourself as you want to be known and say it like you mean it.  Function Writing has a great article about this exact topic.  “I’m (insert name here) and I work part-time as a data entry clerk and sometimes I do some stand up comedy but that doesn’t really pay at this point and what I really want to do is be a TV writer except I don’t think I’m good enough at writing yet”….. OR “Hey, I’m Vanessa Lever.  I do stand up and sketch comedy and I’m just starting out in my voiceover career.  All of which are pretty exciting, so be excited for me!”  What!?  You’re awesome, Vanessa Lever!  “I know.  But thank you.”  And just to clarify, I don’t mean become an egotistical prick.  OWN your extraordinary abilities and share them with the world.

As the great Julie Andrews says in The Sound of Music, “I have confidence the world can all be mine…I have confidence in me!”  Now make like Julie Andrews and dance off into the streets to take what’s yours: LAUGHS.  You work hard at it, so allow it to pay off for you.