What Dreams Are Made Of: Conquering My Demons

A few weeks ago, somewhere between Christmas and doubting myself, I had an amazing dream.

I have a history of dreams involving shadowy demons that try to grab at me from under my bed.  I haven’t had one for a while since I’M A GROWN UP NOW, but then this one popped up.

In my dream, a dark, gnarly, clawed hand was coming up the side of my bed.  Immediately I get a tinge of terror in my heart.  But then I remember it’s only real if I let it be real.  Also, my childhood teddy bear, Cocoanut, was in my bed with me.  She has superpowers.

demon hand!

I kept swatting the hand off my bed, but it persisted and its persistence made me angrier and angrier.  Then the full body of this shadowy demon, not unlike the one in Insidious (ahh!).  I fought and fought, punching and using Cocoanut to scare it, using every ounce of by strength to defeat it.

shadowy demon

Just when I thought I had succeeded and could go back to sleep, it came up beside my bed again.  Beyond furious, I got up on my knees, pushed it down onto the ground, jumped on top of it and started punching the HECK out of it.  THEN, I ripped off its arm, beat it to death with its own arm, and thrust the bony end of the arm through the demon’s chest.

Arm rip!

I got back up on my bed, threw my arms in the air and cried: “I’M VANESSA LEVER AND I’M AWESOME!!”  All in flannel penguin-print jammies too.


Best. Dream. Ever.  I guess my subconscious is telling me that I should be more confident, there’s nothing to fear except fear itself!  All in all, a good start to a new year.  🙂

Resolve to Set Your Goals


It’s 2013 — HAPPY NEW YEAR!  And if there’s anything I’ve learned from the past year, it’s that a) this 10 pounds didn’t show up on my mid-section from eating too healthy, and that b) this year will be the year of happenings!  And I don’t mean apocalypses.

I read a great quote today in a magazine for yoga-doers that compared setting intentions to setting goals.  I have many intentions.  Many hopes and dreams and fleeting ideas.  Intentions are about living in the moment.  Goals, however, are about “envisioning a future outcome…then planning, applying discipline, and working hard to achieve” them.  When I read that I realized that I have not been working hard and applying discipline.  I get all cranky and annoyed because great things are happening to all these hard-working people around me while I wither away in a drab office everyday.

Well not this year!  The year 2013 is going to be a year of change!  New Mayan calendar cycle = new leaf turning-over.  This is my public declaration!  No more pity parties, no more sitting idly for things to magically happen for me.  I’m going to work hard, apply discipline, visualize my goals, and make things happen!  And so what if it’s taken me 28 years to get to the point I’m at (whatever point that is), the journey of life is different for everyone.  Some people become successful at an early age.  Others discover their calling later in life.  However it happens, we all get to enjoy each other’s talents at some point.  Hopefully I get to that point before I’m 67 years old.

I’ve known people who set goals for themselves regularly in order to stay on their desired path (of righteousness?) and I have oft thought that to be weird or new age-y.  But it may just be what I need to stay on/find my track.  Today I set some goals for myself.  Some short-term, some a little longer, but all for this year.  Deadlines.  But they SHOULD be called LIFE-lines!  HAHAHAHAHA!  Enough.  But seriously, I set goals to give myself something tangible to achieve in order to pave the way to achieve greater goals – conquests even – in years to come.  I find that I get overwhelmed by life and the many great things that I wish to accomplish, but I don’t know what to do now to make those big things happen.  Setting smaller goals helps to pave the way to the greater goals, like building blocks of a great pyramid.  I’m such a sage.  You may refer to me as Sage Guru Master Vaneesha.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do some writing.  And maybe even work out.  Go set yourself some goals, maybe some intentions, and get back to me with your life’s accomplishments as they happen.  I would love to hear from you. 

May the universe smile upon you,
Sage Guru Master Vaneesha